Danielle LaPorte doesn’t ask the usual question, “What are your goals?” but asks us

“How do you want to feel?”

I have found my answers to be a great road map for self-care. Knowing my desires directs my actions throughout the day. I want to feel:

  • Healthy
  • Happy
  • Loving

“Healthy” is absolutely most important to me. I use it as a mantra and that takes away any ambivalence I might have about exercise, or if I should blend up a green smoothie. I just do it, without the struggle, without resistance. The same goes for happy and loving. These simple words are a compass for my daily choices and behavior. My choices become effortless, and how I treat others, a given. What I read, do, speak, all guided by this notion of being true to how I want to feel and be in this world. Happy. Loving. Healthy.

So what do I mean by DIY or DIE? We all must “Do it Yourself” when it comes to self-care or, frankly, die, no one can do this for us. If not physical death, (although that can happen from self neglect),  it’s entirely possible to suffer a death of our spirit and capacity for joy, compassion and inner peace.

Dramatic? Perhaps. But I know it’s true. As Byron Katie says “The freer I get, the less pain others experience”.

How hard is it for other people to endure our lack of self-love? Do we treat them kindly when we are completely depleted or ill?

If you are like many people, you are fantastic at caring for others but are unclear where to begin with yourself.  Enter your email here for a free initial consultation and information on my program  “Self Care 101, Self Care For The Selfless”.


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